A Mistake and an Awkward-er Adventure
by the-voiceless
Summary: What if things had gone differently for Jenna Hamilton in the last episode? What if Valerie had mistakenly given Jenna the wrong advice? What if her infatuation with Russell Jonathan had never swayed? Now Jenna and her new literary hero have been thrown into an adventure and soon they must face down the most terrible and torturous criticism ever: a teacher and student relationship.
1. Chapter 1

(A/N): I own nothing

Chapter 1

I was on a quest to discover the true identity of Russell Jonathon. The need to wrap myself in the warm embrace of his words had grown too fierce and too suddenly. And it did happen so suddenly for Jenna Hamilton, almost like a surreal dream. But it was so much more than that. A thirst needed to be quenched within her mind and the book 'Unraveled' had only been a tiny raindrop from a thunder cloud of satisfaction. And I craved for more. I needed more and my love affair with him had only begun to bloom. Her fingers flew across the keyboard as her wandering eyes searched for a picture or a biography of her mysterious knight in shining armor. She had the belief that this man, who she had so much in common with, was her soul mate. His words and his pages had spoken to her heart in a way that no one ever has before, not even with Jake or Matty. Her past romantic relationships had no equal with this man, this mysterious and reclusive man and she was absolutely smitten with him.

And not only did I rampage and dig through the World Wide Web for my savior that had been a torch of light from my self-destructive bubble of a social life. After coming back from the brink of death, I could find no other safe haven. But I did discover who he was and his name was Mr. Hart. The 'Hart-less' teacher in my school and my world had been shaken. My little snow-globe world of confusion continued to create a barrier against self-awareness.

And self-control.

Jenna sat idly in her assigned seat in his classroom, her ankles rubbing together in anticipation to run up to his desk and ask him a billion questions about his book. But she wouldn't—because what kind of questions do you ask your favorite author? But more importantly, what kind of questions do you ask when you're inspired by his novel and in love with him at the same time?

"Your paper is due tomorrow! You, peepshow! Standing out in the hall! Don't let me catch you writing some bullshit story about your dead grandmother! I'd rather have that paper crunched into a little ball and shoved down the Adam's apple of a cow than read it." He pointed a stern wavy finger to the rest of the class. "Tomorrow, you tell me who you want to be."

Jenna, remembering everything that's happened to her so far, sighed heavily. Rolling her eyes, she rose from her seat with her books in hand. After cheating on her boyfriend, dissing her parents shamelessly, alienating her friends, and running down the non-sunny side of the train tracks with Collin and his shadowy world. What could she possible be able to write tomorrow?

What could make this day worse!?

"Hamilton!"

Of course luck wasn't on her side.

"Yes?"

"What was that sigh for?"

"I didn't sigh…"

"Oh, yes you did."

Her bottom jaw shifted back and forth. "Fine, you caught me. I did sigh. But only because I have no idea what I'm going to write tomorrow. I have no idea who I want to be let alone who I am right now." Her big brown eyes, watery and tired, glared at him stiffly. "But I **do** know who you are! _Russ_…!"

The venom of his real name lingered on her tongue like a disease, rendering her voice useless. The look on his face proved to be quite disturbing and caused her to run out of the room with her soul intact. She'd let him know what she knew for the rest of the day and gripping her book bag, she let her feet lead the way! But what she didn't know if she was in love with him, or not.

**The Next Day:**

"I'm struggling with … strange feelings that are involved romantically."

"Unrequited love," Valerie swooned.

Blushing, she chuckled, "I wouldn't call it '_love_' but I think it's irrational and a reaction to feeling lonely and the age difference is completely sketch."

"I think I know who you're talking about, J-Dog. And I'd say it's not **that** big of an age difference."

"You're joking! It's huge!" her eye's narrowed.

"Well, I guess if we're counting dog years."

"A relationship would be totally illegal and not to mention… gross," she shrugged.

"In what state…?" Valerie looked up at the ceiling. "…Maybe Delaware."

Jenna grabbed her head, "What is wrong with me!? I need to wake up! It's not like I actually, actually, actually love him or anything." She gazed down at the desk and shrugged, pursing her bottom lip. "Inspired? _Sure_! But… is it possible to love someone who completely humiliates you every day?"

Valerie weaved her fingers together," I don't think he _actually_ enjoys it. No one enjoys torturing another person just for the hell of it. But…." she looked at Jenna's face and had examined her confused expression. "But remember it takes two to tango, sister."

"What?" Jenna gawked. "I've never humiliated him, ever! Throughout the whole year I've never-"

"We can argue about the details all day but on another note you are obviously suffering from all the pain from the past and frankly, I get it!" the blonde smiled warmly, "I mean, everyone's talking about it."

That last sentence shocked Jenna.

She leaned forward with both of her arms stuck to her side.

"_Everyone knows_?" Jenna whispered, feeling the devastation of having more rumors being piled upon her. "I haven't told one living soul!"

Her eyes gazed into the air trying to find a way to calculate her error of ever trying to find solace in Valerie's office. She would come with a big problem and leave with a bigger problem.

"Your mom told me."

Jenna's throat ran dry," My mom knows?"

Valerie shook her head.

"Well of course, after everything that has happened. Listen J-Dog it takes two to tango and you have to fix that bridge and let the water run under it. Water under the bridge and maybe that way he'll ask you to Prom. Do you want my advice? Get on that '_Cheer Express'_ and get on his good side. See what he likes and what he doesn't like. Be the Juliet to his Romeo and strap on your high heels and strut that stuff, J-Dog. Get to know him and force yourself under those layers of that onion of a man. If I think about it now, I'd make a great love show host."

That was another lightning strike that struck her mind, twice. She couldn't find a reason to open her mouth and say something to defend herself. But it seems like there was no shield in the whole world to protect her from the dragon fire of her fellow students. Slowly, she rose from her chair and left the office to the next sanctuary a girl could find in a high school.

The girl's lavatory.

Jenna leaned against the stall, holding her head back and thinking of all the ways she could take Valerie's advice and turn it into something positive. She couldn't believe that her obsession for Russell Jonathon could creep out from the privacy of her own personal life and onto the hallways of her school. But what if Valerie was right? Somewhere in the past few months she's been humiliating Mr. Hart somehow and she would have to make it right? How do you make it better? Jenna shook her head trying to find the right questions to the right answers, but it was no use. What could she have done to make everything go from bad to worse? Having a crush on a teacher?

"Jenna?" came a knock on her stall door. "It's me T. I know you're trying to do a 'Tink-and-Think' but we're meeting Ming and Fred outside for lunch, remember? And I'm sorry that I got my Intel from Jake all wrong and it was my fault to bring your hopes up about Matty asking you to Prom because I seriously thought that all of us were going together and we would have our fairy tale endings come true like the classic Disney movies! But I promise no one will mention 'Prom' again at our table! Scout's honor!"

"Karma has been a bitch and so had I."

"You're not Karma's bitch, Jenna. After all that's happened no one is going to care! The rumors of you and _him_ aren't that bad!"

"Not true. T. Everyone has been routing for me to fall on my face. Or as Mary Murr put it as FOHF."

"FOHF? What the hell is- ohhh, I get it. Ehhh, tell her nice try but don't listen to her! She's old and out of touch! And besides the rumors aren't true Jenna!"

Unable to withstand the tears in her eyes, Jenna opened the door and attached herself to Tamara in a big embrace. She needed to make it right; she needed his approval and forgiveness. But first she needed to surrender to her own approval and self-understanding and let out all of the frustration and inner feelings.

"The rumors are true. I'm in love with Russell Jonathan."

Her past crimes had come to bite her in the ass.

Karma was a bitch.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2:

"No my god! Are you f**cking kidding me!? Jenna do you know the penalties of a teacher and student relationship!? You could get arrested! Scratch that! You could be scarred for life! Scratch that! You could get publicly crucified for something like this! Please tell me that you're on the pipe again because that would be WAY better than lusting after the troll under the bridge!"

"I know it's bad…"

"And how the hell did you even know his real name? I don't even know his real name! I don't think the rest of the faculty knows his real name! He's like the two faced bully of this Gotham City school!"

"I just don't know what to do! But Valerie said that everyone in the whole school knows!"

"Everyone knows except me? Is that likely?"

"What does it matter? I'm dead. I'm dead everywhere I go! Even my mom knows!"

"Bra-Woman Wonder even knows? Wow, the dirt really gets around. But Jenna! Focus! That can't be possible because if everyone DID know about it then there would be a report to the police. I don't see any handcuffs around your wrists."

"I can't focus T! I'm freaking out because I was told that he wants to ask me to Prom, too!"

Tamara gasped," Prom!? Why would that old pervert go to Prom? I'm pretty sure he's not allowed at Prom. Too much cleavage."

"And so what if Matty asked Bailey to Prom? I was in denial that everything would go smoothly and I naïvely thought that he would ask me. But now I have another problem. Mr. Hart is going to ask me to Prom! Which I'm sure as hell he is not going to! But, what do I do!?"

"Please come out! And forget about Mr. Hart because he is a cruel guy with too many issues and he is not going to ask you to Prom, Jenna! Look! Shut it all down! Everyone is waiting for us outside and I promise no one will mention Prom at our table." 

At Their Table:

"_Prom_!" exclaimed Ming. "I don't know what I'm going to do about it!"

Jenna glared at Tamara.

"Sorry, I didn't give her the memo."

Jenna nodded, "It's okay. It'll distract me from the real problem. Ok, what is it?"

"Sex is the problem! Is the hump-and-pump always a part of the fine print of each Prom ticket? I don't think I'm ready!"

"Well if you're not ready to have your cherry popped then use a sexcuse."

"A sexcuse?"

"A sex excuse."

"Like what?"

"You're sweaty."

"Tired."

"Hairy."

"Which means scary."

"Or use that good ol' fashion excuse to escape the back seat of a rented Prius."

"Which is?"

"You're on your period," they said in unison.

"Ohhh, sucks for you," Jake nudged Fred, smiling.

Jenna quickly glanced up at Jake and Fred and hopefully wouldn't catch their disapproving eye. Sweat was the appropriate response after you discover that your friends know that you're in love with your new literary hero. Tamara looked at her and she quickly role played.

"So, Jenna, are you coming to Prom with us?"

"Alone?"

"Why not? It'll be like repeating history except we'll be taking you. Like we took Tamara to Formal last year. Unless you found another date to Prom? And I assume it's a someone who goes to this school?" he smiled.

Jenna shivered at the thought of being approached by Mr. Hart and even though the scenario had been too impossible to envision, she hoped it wouldn't come true. There was no way that the rumors were true and suddenly she had the need to run back to her safe blanket and cuddle within her own comforting words. Or maybe Valerie was bluffing, but why? Who would lie about something like that? It was too stupid to think about. She was being stupid! These scenarios were all to feisty and quick and she could feel the weight lay upon her shoulders.

"Jenna! I need to get more napkins." Tamara poked her with her elbow.

Jenna blinked herself into reality.

"Oh, um, _napkins_. I know where they are. I will help you find them."

Quickly, too quickly, both girls stood up and began to walk away. Tamara squeezed both of them into the shadows of the cafeteria wall, in between the open doors and the lockers.

"Jenna! Don't freak! But you can't be thinking what I think you're thinking!"

"I can't make up my mind!"

"Make up your mind about what?"

"If I love him or not!" Jenna panicked," I was inspired by him, but does it make sense for someone to love someone else so easily? I don't know what I feel anymore and it's more complicated with Matty and Bailey. Then while everyone else is waiting for an answer if I do or not, I just can't make up my mind. I don't even know my answer!"

Tamara pressed her palm on her forehead in a quick slap!

"Ahh!"

"Snap out of it! You're not in love with him!"

"I have to get this out of my system, T! I don't know what to do."

"Ugh! Okay, shut up! Jake's coming over here." They left their shadowy hideout and into the open.

"Hey, babe," he kissed her," You left so quickly I didn't have a chance to talk to you. Did you hear about Matty and Bailey?"

Jenna, who really didn't need to know the details, clutched her handbag tighter and swerved off the main hallway and onto a random locker door. Pushing back a lock of her hair, she could see Tamara and Jake talking flirtatiously and exchanging their share of hot gossip. For a moment she saw Tamara's eyes go wide with shock and her little feet came scurrying back to her.

"Jenna you need to hear this!"

"I don't think I need to—"

"When Matty asked Bailey to Prom she said no and that means that you still have a shot to go to Prom with all of us and that only means one thing! That Matty was actually playing hard to get and he actually wanted you to make a move and when you didn't he went _Hans Solo_ and trying to hint that's he alone! He changed his mind."

And Jenna changed her attitude. Maybe there was a hope after all. Jenna couldn't believe it, but it was enough for her to crack a smile. Maybe going on that date with Matty would redeem herself of the student and teacher relationship rumor.

If it was true.

"So… he wanted me to ask him?" she worded out carefully.

"Not word by word but I can wordplay and translate-tray!"

Jake poked Tamara," Babe, boys don't think that hard."

"Girl world! Now! Please and thank you! Tune out until I'm done!"

Tamara scooted closer to her," Then that means if you get this date with Matty then you won't have to go with Rigger Mortensen hiding behind curtain No. 2 and that means no more drama-rama from the school. And who cares about the rumors! Who cares about _him_! If you want something then you have to go get it! If you want Matty and he wants you then you have to get what you want!"

"Really?"

"Yes/No!" Tamara and Jake exclaimed.

Tamara glared at Jake," There's still hope. He wants to go with you. Now go get your date!"

Both girls high-fived and Jenna was quick as a bunny to find Matty and hopefully be inconspicuous about asking him to Prom. The excitement of finally being his date would suffice enough to keep her skipping on her toes. She saw a ray of hope burn through her dark cloud and finally she saw her chance to escape the rumors.

If that rumor was ever true or not.

But on her way through the hallways, she didn't find Matty, she found Bailey first. They both seemed to be alarmed at the others presence and they tried to think of something quick! Approaching the other, they stood awkwardly; they gazed at each other heavily, holding very deep thoughts.

"I'm sorry," they said in unison.

"What are you sorry for?"

"I thought that you wouldn't talk to me again. About the rumors of me and Matty and after that, I was devastated," Bailey seemed to shrink into herself," After Matty asked me to Prom, I called you to make sure that you heard it from me first. I just want you to know that."

Jenna pulled them away from the eyes of the crowd," I already knew."

"You knew?"

"Matty came to me first asking for my permission to ask you to Prom and I just assumed you accepted. That's why I avoided your calls," she signed, realizing her mistake," I was the lame friend for not giving you the benefit of the doubt."

"No, I'm the lame friend, Jenna. I'm a horrible friend for giving your ex-boyfriend the wrong signal. I swear that there wasn't a moment or hesitation that I'd say yes to him."

"So…. you never liked Matty?"

Bailey bit her lip," I do like him. He's a really good guy, but—"a tear ran down her cheek and she swallowed hard," I didn't want to hurt you."

Jenna blinked hard, "So you turned him down… to protect me feelings?"

"Of course, Jenna," tears swelled in her eyes as she took in a deep breath," Jenna you have to know that you're my only best friend. I would never do anything to hurt you."

She had said those last three words with extra emphasis and Jenna realized that she had been living in her own personal hell for way too long. She had been verbally and mentally abused and old habits die hard, and she had forgotten acts of kindness. And right before her eyes, Bailey had shown those acts of kindness only a true friend would do. So Jenna decided it was time to return the favor. So, she'll make a sacrifice, she'll give Bailey her praise and deal with the pitchforks and torches of the other students. Because if everyone knew that Jenna gave Bailey to Matty then they all would assume that she'd be with… the heartless Mr. Hart. So she would do the one thing that she never expected herself to do again; perform the act of selflessness. She approached a confused and befuddled Matty and pulled him into their little social circle. And as soon as he entered their little Prom Interrogation, Bailey (a freshman) was asked to Prom, and they both walked with high hopes and new plans to make. It wasn't a bad idea to bring them together and playing Cupid wasn't a bad idea either, which left Jenna standing alone in the hallway. But now that the tidal wave of love triangles had passed, she stood alone and wondered if she'd ever go to Prom. So there would be no date, do dance, no Matty, but… just _devastation_.

"Wow."

Jenna jumped!

"_Bravo_! You performed that little _fiasco_ with SUCH sincerity," Sadie poked her chin outward with every venomous word.

"It _was_ true sincerity…"

She blinked hard," Oh please, Hamilton…! Don't bullsh*t… a bullsh*tter…" she smiled, showing all her teeth," Well, I definitely know that you're a teacher's pet."

Jenna looked at her," What do you mean _teacher's pet_?"

"Mr. Hart's paper that's due. I know what you'll be writing for him and it'll have to be the most PAH-thetic paper that you'll ever write. I mean, you're _still_ the _ex-girlfriend_. And when Mr. Hart slaughters you tomorrow," she paused," It will be excruciating-LY awesome to watch. Maybe that's why he likes you."

All the blood drained from her face.

"Maybe his paper will be easy to write. It appears who you want to be is already who you are: a pathetic loser."

_Satan Saxten_ walked away with a high chin with her hands clasped tightly in front of her wide skirt.

But then she turned around," As with your problems, I guess the rumors are _true_."

Now Jenna was confused, "Wait. What rumors?"

"Don't play dumb, Hamil-tramp, everyone knows."

Jenna's eyes went wide.

With a sassy," You're _welcome_," she walked away.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3:

With a sassy," You're welcome," she walked away.

It had become official; with Sadie talking about Mr. Hart and Tamara talking about the rumors and Matty going out with Bailey and Valerie talking about Prom. Could it be that her infatuation with Russell Jonathan was worse than she could imagine, so much that it would leak from her own private room and onto the mouths of the social hyenas. Jenna Hamilton and Mr. Hart were becoming exclusive? They were in an unorthodox relationship without her knowing they were in a relationship in the first place. But it couldn't be! She had to slap herself and tell herself that the rumors couldn't be true! Everyone in the school, everyone in the state, everyone in America knew that it was illegal. Jenna stood there in the hallway and the first thing that she was going to do was to escape to her blog site and write down her thoughts.

"Hamilton!" called a voice.

Without turning around, she felt a hand place itself on her shoulder.

"Come with me."

It wasn't a question, it was a statement and Jenna knew that there would be consequences if she defied Mr. Hart's order. Jenna, like a zombie, allowed him to escort her to his classroom. Once she was inside, he closed the door and shut the blinds. She could feel her toes twitching as he guided her to a chair that sat in front of his desk, so secluded in the corner of the literature room. His shoes clapped as he walked to his chair, switched on the LED lamp, and plucked a blank sheet of paper from his drawers. He slid it back with a _clank_!

"I'm giving you two assignments," he started, placing his spectacles on his nose. "I want you two write what you're thinking on this sheet of paper and when you're done, I want you to read it out to me."

Jenna's eye twitched," Is this for extra credit?"

He pushed the paper closer to her.

"Did I do something?"

"You will have a total of 5 minutes," he checked his digital watch," 5 minutes to convince me that you are not full of sh*t."

"Is this for extra credit?"

He crossed his legs and sighed in his chair.

He beeped his watch," Aaand, go!"

Jenna sat there idly for a second staring at him as he supported his head with his hand while his elbow rested on the desk. Of course this was a deathtrap and Jenna had naively allowed herself to be pulled into his mousetrap and now he sat calm and cool like an alley cat. As soon as he peeked at his watch, she knew that he was being serious and her eyes blinked before her hand scrambled around for an available pen or pencil. Quickly she focused her attention on the paper. But she couldn't focus hard enough! She was rushed too much and her head couldn't put a sentence together correctly. It was blank, staring at her, and waiting for her to spout her feelings like a paintball gun. So with low hopes but high tolerance, she began to write. As her pencil scribbled, Mr. Hart checked his watch every once in a while before snorting and shaking his head in mockery. The clocked ticked away second by second and as soon as Jenna had connected with her true inner thoughts, the timer went off.

_Beep beep beep beep_

"Read it out to me."

Unable to think of an option, she held up her paper stiffly. Her mouth ran dry, already.

"So long Prom…" she whispered carefully, looking at him for his approval and waiting for him to swipe the paper from her fingers and rip it to pieces.

But he didn't.

She continued," I had to write my last paper but all I want to do is hold up and hide. I didn't want to write about who I wanted to be when I felt so far away from who I was and who I used to be. _That_ girl who used to be selfless and become… selfish and in return," she paused, taking in a deep shaky breathe," And in return was all alone without a P-Prom date," she halfway glanced at him. "A perfect boyfriend or a great new friend who had soon been redeemed after I thought she was his new girl, but I was wrong. I suddenly had two assignments: two write something on page and say something important to someone who deserved the truth. But I didn't know how or when to begin and I was getting sick of whining about it and I was left with only one last resort: procrastination."

Her paper dropped to his desk, floating to a soft halt in the middle of the lamp light. The hot burn of pen against flesh began to sting and she couldn't wait to feel the burn of his procrastination. His finger pulled the paper towards him and his eyes reviewed her sentences carefully, word by word he read.

This was weird.

At last, he shook his head and took his spectacles off.

He wasn't saying anything. And that was the problem; it bothered Jenna that he wasn't saying anything, after everyone in the school knew him to be a ball buster!

Was he playing with her? Or was this some sort of interrogation

She waited for criticism, but he was silent.

The corners of her eyes began to twitch.

Quickly she snatched the paper and with 7 determined swipes, the paper was in pieces. It was rolled into a ball and thrown into a garbage can.

"Well that was a little dramatic," he retorted.

"I'm not sorry. It was a waste of your time and my time," she spat," It was all garbage and dim and poorly written. Why don't you do both of us a favor and just give me a zero."

"No."

"I can't and won't write the assignment."

"It's unacceptable."

Jenna hissed," Well, you're just going to _have_ to accept it!"

"You don't call the shots, Ms. Hamilton, I do."

Jenna leaned forward," I am not a brilliant writer like you. I can't just… spit poetry in a vacuum."

She had no idea what was happening but it seems as if he's delving deep into her soul and fishing out the bad things, exorcising her demons. Jenna… had no idea if her feelings for him were more than the deepest (weirdest) friendship, the warmth and trust that came from the knowledge of a person's character in time of hardship. They had seen each other exhausted in mind and body, drained beyond bearing when they had fought the criticism outbreak in this forsaken school. As part of their inner strength had been laid bare by the horror of it, the endless days and nights had melted into one another, sorrow over redemption they had struggled so hard to prevent, there was the danger of loneliness. There were not immune to it themselves. Jenna had been waiting for him to make some response, standing in his vision. Time was short, as it always seemed to be between them.

In more ways than one—Jenna envied him. She envied his wisdom and she envied his strength and envied his independence too.

"I can't write your stupid paper because I don't know who I want to be. I've ruined my life. Pushed my friends away and n-now I just feel so…" her voice trailed off.

This room was an icehouse; extremely cold. The chill of it made students gasp involuntarily, but none dare complain. Mr. Hart was glad of it; he had known less-efficient rooms than this. He lifted another sheet, blank and glowing white under the lamp.

"Did you know…" he murmured," that I haven't heard my… real name in over 20 years…"

Jenna fixed her bangs and glared at the floor.

"I'm going to tell you a story about a guy who's a few years older than you. He thought he was a tough guy, thought he knew it all so he sat down and wrote a story. A killer story: and the whole literary world agreed. This guy knew it all and some even called him the next Salinger," he pointed his ballpoint pen at her, poking the air between them," So he bought the bullshit and he started to piss off everyone he _cared_ about. He was the writer of his own ruin because he thought that he could do no wrong, until he wrote a second novel…" he paused as his pen dropped from his fingers," And then he was torn apart."

He leaned back into his chair, creaking and moaning until he was supported by the wall.

His eyes looked at her," So you know what he did?"

"What?"

"He quit," he replied," Because despite knowing it all; he wasn't a tough guy. He even changed his name after he let the critics destroy him and the day he decided to take his head out of his ass—he did the best thing he could."

She gave a tiny smile," He became a teacher."

He leaned forward," Yes, because he wanted to teach kids, with talent, how to face criticism and discover that success isn't about winning. It's about staying in the game. Not quitting; or someone make you quit."

"Does that make sense?"

Other questions beat in his mind, but his openness and kindness and his painful memories robbed him of the words. He longed to be able to help her, not to increase his own reputation or to defend his honor, but simply to ease the pain he could see, and even feel, as he watched her. She was only, a yard away from him, and yet an abyss existed between what she experienced and what he understood. He had no idea at all how he could cross the space. It would've been easier if they were in separate countries. He did not even know what else he felt; anger, fear that she was guilty, fear that she was not and he would fail her and she would be destroyed by the wheels of the lay he was supposed to guide by or by pity; even kind of admiration, because quite without reason, he believed there was something noble in her, something beautiful and strong.

"So, you're not a dick?"

He smiled," No, _I'm not_…" slowly and surely, Mr. Hart rose from his seat and carefully opened his arms and pulled her into an embrace," I'm just a man with a method to his madness. I want you to realize that with all the hardship and the criticisms you've faced makes you a better writer," he softly stroked her hair and talked against her temple," And be a better person, so don't quit now, Jenna, before you learn that no matter what you do or where you go—you can't escape yourself."

Jenna, in the comfort of his arms, had appreciated his madness and abuse all these months and had found a uniquely beautiful man underneath his disgusting and disgruntled facade. Suddenly she had the need, the desire to ask him one final question. It may not have been desire at all; it might have come from the hours of raw nerves. It came from the halls; it came from the sickness of being lonely, and it came from the dark guilty desire within her heart. But seeing the situation now, she couldn't open her mouth to ask as he reopened his arms and allowed her to stand on her own two feet.

"Now take the weekend and turn that paper in."


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4:

Jenna chewed roast pork in her mouth silently as her parents conversed about whatever subject seemed pleasing to them. Or only to her mom.

Her mouth, shaped by lipstick, raved about the Desperate Housewives. All her father wanted to do was pop a cold one, kick his feet up, and watch the Playoffs. But after so much, their marriage seemed to be strong and forgiving, which was good because that's what she would've wanted. Jenna, itching to get her hands on Russell Jonathan's book, tried every way to excuse herself from the table.

But her mom complained that she hadn't eaten her dessert yet.

She made peach cobbler.

Nonfat cobbler, but still tasty, and swabbed with whip cream (also nonfat).

But there was enough talk of food.

Jenna hadn't told her parents about the rumor yet.

Should she tell them?

Well, it is the right thing to do. After all, she still needed to be on good terms with them.

But there was no need for them to know, right?

Her mom might understand but there was a chance that her dad might take a baseball bat and do some damage. His cold skepticism of her past boyfriends had been chilling and creepy enough, and there was no telling what he'd do if he knew she was in love with an older man.

A teacher no less. (a prodigy in writing)

Jenna tapped her fork on her plate and she waited until her mother rose from her chair and served dessert. The cobbler, glowing and hot from the oven, was scooped from the pan and onto her plate. In two bats of an eyelash, she poured her plate into her mouth, threw it into the dishwater, and dashed off to her bedroom. She needed to escape from the kitchen and the prying eyes of her parents. Locking her room, turning off the lights, closing the curtains, silencing her cellphone, and hopping onto her computer desk she flipped open her laptop. Her fingers quickly typed in her username and password before opening up another blank page on her blog.

At long last!

The white screen seemed to blaze in tiny pixels as she stared at the blinking black line in the middle of that vast whiteness, waiting for her to produce words.

Jenna took a quick glance at the book, rethought her words, and she began to type.

I Am Jenna

**When you fly too close to the sun, you're going to get burned.**

And that was the end of her blog session; because those were the only words she could think of when Russell Jonathan had been unmasked. Jenna could think of a few things that were wrong with her fantasy and guilt was not one of them. For some strange reason, she did not feel guilt about harboring these feelings for him.

It was wrong, yes, on so many levels.

But no, she didn't feel any guilt.

No shame.

Nothing.

Had it been so sudden, so imperfect, and so unorthodox that her feelings were beginning to shrink, enthralling her to pursue those feelings until… he knew the truth? There was no way that he could understand and there was no way that he'd allow her to express those feelings freely. Besides being the school's most brutal learning enforcer, he was soft and gooey on the inside. Mulling over their recent conversation, he had opened up to her, he respected her and he understood her in a way that all girls want to be understood. Or maybe she was wrong. Hell, he might've been the most sincere bully she's ever met. Jenna pressed against these questions just as she pressed herself against her pillows as she crawled into her bed and thought about the universe. Quickly glancing back at the book, she settled her head on her arm, and she dreamed about his words once more. It was incredible that he had taken her to a safe haven and Jenna needed more. Hopping up from her bed, she snatched the book, and cuddled into her blankets to nurture herself once more, feeling the enrichment once again. For the first time in a long while, the time of leaving reality didn't seem to be so terrible, but instead it was healthy. It was healthy for all kinds of reasons; it was healthy and it was so nurturing that time had passed for nearly an hour.

A knock came at her door," Jenna? Are you decent?"

She peeked over her book," Yea."

Quickly, she hid her book.

Her mother walked in," Hey you! What's going on?"

"What do you mean?"

"I got a call from Tamara and Ming. They tried your cell but it went straight to voicemail."

Jenna held her breathe, "What did they say?"

"They were checking to see if you were okay. They said something about rumors going on at school and Matty and Prom and something about… _Dress-Stress_…?"

She rolled her eyes, "Oh, yea, Ming told me that Jake was buying a surprise tuxedo for Prom just to get back at Tamara or something and now she needs to buy a new black dress so their colors won't clash. And Ming is stressing about having first-time sex with her boyfriend when they get back to their hotel."

"Well she shouldn't be! I remember my Prom! I was wearing this sassy Madonna outfit that reminded me of Cher and a much less Pg-13 rated Lady Gaga. But without the creepy face paint. Then after the dance, after midnight, my date took me for a spin in his big ol' Cadillac. And our hotel room was-"

"Mom," Jenna cut in before she went into full detail," Mom. Did you ever…_I don't know_… have weird feelings for… someone you knew that you could never have?"

Now, Jenna knew that she was swimming in dark waters.

Her mom blinked, "Well… that's a tough question to answer."

Jenna tucked her book under her pillow," Well… what if it… was someone you know. Someone… who had no idea about these… weird feelings. And someone who you knew… could never have," she paused, mulling over her thoughts carefully. It was a tricky situation and she continued," And… it was someone who you absolutely, incredibly adored and I mean… really, really _adored_."

"So we're not talking about a fling. We're talking about a crush."

"More or less…"

More or less?"

"Well I haven't exactly thought of all the details."

"Well, from personal experience, I know that there is someone for everybody. And I believe in soul mates, especially when I'm in a vulnerable place and when I'm riding the red crimson wave. Love is an unbelievable journey that happens to us once in a lifetime! But from what I know—unrequited love is always… the worst."

That wasn't the answer she was hoping for.

"What? It can't _always_ be the worst, can it?"

"Well if you ask Jack and Rose from the movie Titanic, I'm pretty sure they can explain it all to you. Ugghh, especially when Jack was eaten by those sharks. It's nasty business."

"What? He froze to death."

"Well if unrequited love can push you to freezing to death or being eaten by sharks—then it's bad."

"That was a movie! And this is real life, mom."

"Well, without the works of Steven Spielberg, where would this world be?"

"It was directed by James Cameron…"

"Oh yea," she rolled her eyes laughing," And you're going to tell me that Forrest Gump was played by Hugh Jackman? Ohhh, please…!"

"Mom, can we just cut the crap. I know that you know."

"Know what? About your crush?"

"Yea."

"Well, duh, I called Valerie about it. BUT, I told her in confidence. She and I know that our little circle is always classified!"

"After you told her, it leaked, and now the whole school knows."

"Yikes. I can't imagine that kind of paparazzi following me around all day."

"But what I can't understand is how you found out!"

Stacy shrugged her shoulders," Well it was obvious! You're not over him, he's not over you, and now that he didn't ask you to Prom, I can't see how this is still a problem for you."

Jenna shook her head," There is no way that Mr. Hart would ask me to Prom!"

Her mom froze, feeling the blood rush from her face and her hands began to shake. It was in that moment that changed their perspective forever.

"Wait, you're not talking about Matty?"

"You're not talking about Mr. Hart?"

At last the web of confusion had cleared and now the clouds of drama have suddenly rolled over.

"You have a crush on your teacher!?"

Jenna held up her hands," It's just… a small crush. I didn't think it would've been a big deal. Honestly, I thought it would've gone away by now, but it hasn't."

"Not a big deal? Well of course it's not a big deal."

"It's not?"

Stacy smiled, scooting closer and petting her hair with her slim fingers.

"No, of course not, I had a crush on my teacher once. He was a history teacher and I didn't take his class because it was for the 4.0 brainiacs, but it was still a crush. I remember he was so classy, like a sexy Michael Buble with cute hipster glasses. But then I found out that he was married to a very, very sweet woman from Ohio, can you believe it?" she rubbed her shoulders lovingly," But you know what? It's a phase. Every girl, somewhere in their life, will want to know what it's like to live on the other side of the bridge."

"The bridge?"

"Where the grass is greener. And in time, it'll fade. When I met your dad, everything changed. He was so handsome and better than any Michael Buble that I've ever met."

Jenna could understand her words and it did bring comfort, because that means that the entire school didn't know about her infatuation with Mr. Hart because everyone thought it was Matty. The pretzel of drama had taken a new turn. Jenna could finally breathe fresh air, but… despite her mother's words and despite escaping the executioners axe; she still didn't feel guilt about having those feelings.

"So, I'm going to give you a hug, kiss you goodnight, and I'm not going to tell your father about what we just talked about. And in the morning when you wake up, I want you to walk into that school and live your teenage life. Because you only get one."

Jenna smiled," Okay, but without the push-up bra."

Stacy chuckled," Sure," she kissed her forehead," I have a surprise for you! Guess what my tailor did?"

"What?"

"It's your," she lifted a blue sparkling fabric from under her arm," Prom dress! It's fixed and ready to wear! You would never know that it wasn't always in two pieces" she smiled, showing all her teeth.

"What am I going to do? Go to Prom _alone_?"

"Of course!"

"You wouldn't have gone alone."

"W-W-Well, yea… I guess, but," she raised her finger," I am not NEARLY as brave as you are, sweetheart."

It seemed to be a hard decision; a hard choice to attend the dance or not. Jenna pondered the word '_brave'_ for a few minutes before registering a decision.

"Okay, well, I want to go for a walk soon," Jenna clicked her boot heels together and touching her mom's hand," But, thanks mom. For the pep talk and I know that I can still go to Prom, but I just need to think it over for a little while. Besides I need to think about what subject I'm going to write about that's due Monday. Mr. Hart gave me some extra time to complete it. It's probably the biggest paper project, yet," Jenna kissed her on her temple and grabbed her coat," I'm not sure who I want to be."

After she had left her room and the loving and natural wisdom of her mother, Jenna walked through her door and allowed her head to roam the clouds.

_Buzz buzz_

She looked at her phone.

It was Matty.

**Can we talk**?

Jenna shook her head and responded.

**Meet me**.

Meanwhile Matty smiled at Jenna's response and quickly hopped in his car. His evening had been riddled with confusion and rumors, but those clouds had been lifted. Jake told him that Jenna had secretly wanted to go with him to Prom and now he had to confront her. Bailey didn't know anything. Which was perfect.

He parked his car further down the street from Jenna's house and shifted the stick in _Park_.

As stealthy as he could, he pounced over Jenna's fence.

Carefully he peeked into her glass door.

Her bedroom looked undisturbed. It looked tidy.

His hand turned into a ball as he softly knocked on the glass.

"Jake," a voice called.

Turning his head, Jenna stood behind him.

"Hey," he grinned.

"Hey."

Both stood apart from each other and before Jenna could open her mouth, Matty confessed.

"I'm sorry, Jenna. "

What did he say?

"What are you sorry for?"

"I'm sorry for not seeing the signs. For not taking you to Prom. I should've caught them earlier."

Jenna shook her head," No, no, no. It was my decision. It was clearly all me. I wanted you to take Bailey to Prom."

"But Jenna…" he swallowed," you do know that I still like you, right?"

There it was. The undeniable look his eyes gave; telling her that maybe the past wasn't resolved. Jenna stood with befuddlement. The grass below her feet suddenly turned into sharp knives, scissors into her toes because she could feel the hot whips of dead romance hit her. She still harbored feelings for Matty but those feelings weren't as great as it was a few days ago.

"Matty," she breathed," I'm coming to Prom."

He narrowed his eyes," Alone?"

"Yea. It's no big deal."

Because it wasn't.

"Well, I hope you understand what's…. happening here."

The grass felt sharper beneath her feet, but the soles of her shoes felt a bit more impenetrable because she understood. Jenna understood, she understood just fine. Matty and her were finally on even ground. Quickly, she took a few steps forward and she spread her arms wide and embraced her ex-boyfriend. Automatically he returned her embrace. This was the last peaceful moment that they would ever have. Because things had changed. She knew it. But he didn't.

**Later That Night**:

Mr. Hart received an email from his least favorite student, Jenna Hamilton.

Surprise, surprise it was overly clever and full of teenage rubbish that included so many unrelated subjects about the past, the present, and the future. He's seen it all and he wasn't impressed at all. Crumpling the paper and tossing it into his fireplace would've been the best option out of 100 other options, but he decided to re-read it and smile to himself. Learning from your mistakes. Learning all of your errors and faults was hard, but immediately that underage wannabe writer had it all figured out. That's what impressed him most about her. Her strength was greater than the rest. But her naïve and senseless temper and attitude could get her in trouble, even more trouble than what happened in the past. He knew that she had hit rock bottom and it wasn't pretty. It was obvious! The knitted beanies, the black stocking, the shitty hipster glasses, and worst of all… he wasn't able to smell her perfume.

Yes, Mr. Hart had read her blog.

More often than not, he had despised using his computer so much. He preferred a newspaper or a journal, but that teen washout always had to use her blog. It was a cliché that he despised, especially when a username and password had to be involved. Rising from his cushioned chair, he pocketed his glasses, and headed over to his bed while sipping his cold black coffee. He carried his old pathetic computer under his arm and hesitantly looked at Jenna's email. The vast whiteness of her email had shone tremendously, highlighting his entire face and room. Resting his chin on his knuckled fist, he reread her words.

_I am not a pussy_

Kicking off his shoes and settling on the squeaky mattress, he clicked the Reply button.

_Dear Jenna,_

_You are not a pussy. I agree halfway. But remember what I said about mistakes and your past. Get your head out of your ass. Stay ahead of the curb. But next time your paper must be in 12 pt. font written in Times New Roman and not the Calibri font. You've done this a hundred times, Hamilton! No bullshit next time. It's shabby. It's sloppy. It's a fucking overkill. Obviously I could go on and on and on and tear your self-resurrecting paper apart. But for your sorry excuse, I'll let it pass._

_P.S._

_More or less, you didn't make me suffer._

_I like who you're going to be._

He clicked Send.

**Later That Night**:

Banging in the last nail to the coffin, Jenna looked at herself in the mirror and admired the glimmering beauty. The blue shine of her dress sparkled. Her hands smoothed down the bottom and she patted her hair, now dark brown, weaved into a bun. Her dress wasn't one of those Sunday school dresses that spread when you twirl. Her dress hugged her body, it was sexy and sophisticated. It was mature.

Beep Beep Beep

Her laptop squeaked. Turning her head over her shoulder, she gazed at her screen. She had a new email. Speak of the devil, it was the devil. Jenna read Mr. Hart's email and she grinned happily at herself. He loved it. Before she could stop herself, she typed a reply. Quickly, too quickly, she clicked the Reply button and she strapped on her high heels and skipped out of her room and into her awaiting chariot and to the ball.


End file.
